Dreams July 2003

"Bert's Hello Kitty Accessories"    07/31/03 I was on some kind of field trip or tour with many other people, including Bert.  I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen.  It seemed that the tour we were on might be a tour of a crime scene.  I tried to ignore my worries and talk to Bert, but I noticed that he was wearing a white crocheted headband with a 3D crocheted cat attached to the side.  His outfit was so '80s chic, and he wore it well.  I complimented him on the headband, and he responded that his grandmother made it for him and that the cat was supposed to be Hello Kitty.  I told him that I had always wanted to crochet or knit but didn't have the patience to learn.  Bert said that his grandmother had taught him how to do it and it was really easy, so I should learn.  But then I touched his headband and noticed that Hello Kitty's pink bow was unraveling, leaving a trail of pink yarn across Bert's forehead.  Then we began walking with the rest of our group through what looked like a museum, but all of the lights were off, so I couldn't really decide if it was actually a museum. "Airport Adventure"    07/30/03 I was driving to the airport to go on vacation.  I think maybe my brother and some other friends were in the car with me, although I was the only one flying anywhere.  As I got closer to the airport the road suddenly split in three directions and I ended up in the lane that was going to the 12th floor.  I realized that the terminal that I had to go to was on the second floor, but the road was one way, so I had no choice but to go  to the 12th floor.  Somehow I just left my car and went into the airport without having to look for a parking spot.  Later I wondered if I had let my brother or friends drive my car, hoping that I really hadn't been that crazy.  The airport turned out to be very much like a 12-story mall.  Every few feet there was another store.  I couldn't resist going into a store that looked like Rave but had a Charlotte Russe sign outside.  There were many men who were in the store and playing a casual game of football with some of the merchandise.  The store clerk tried to convince me to sign up for the store's discount club, although membership benefits would expire the next day.  In a few hours I was going to be at my grandmother's house.  I was pretty sure I'd be able to find a Charlotte Russe store near her if I really wanted to join the club, but my problem would be getting there.  Since I left my car either at the airport or with my brother and friends, the only way I'd be able to use the discount club card is if my grandmother allowed me to drive her car while I was visiting.  I decided that probably wouldn't happen.  There were several items which I wanted to buy, but the men playing football and the store clerk annoyed me so much that I just left the store.  I managed to wander into a hall where there were only backdoors leading to the stores.  I plump African American woman with a walkie talkie walked out and asked me if I was lost.  I told her that I was and she gave me directions.  I smiled as I walked away and thanked her.  I wished my own mother were like that woman.  I began walking in the right direction to get to the American Airlines ticket counter, but it was going to be a very far walk considering that I wasn't even on the right floor.  As I kept walking I noticed that a lot of people I know from law school were walking past me in the other direction.  I wondered where they were going, considering that was the direction I just came from where the backdoors to the stores were.  I didn't bother interrupting them to tell them because they were all busily chatting. "Attempted Murder"    07/23/03 I was upstairs in my parents' house in a bedroom with Calvin.  I pulled him close to me and smiled as I hugged him.  I did this as a gesture of apology to end a fight we had been having for years, and I actually began to feel at peace.  But then I realized that it was not Calvin that I was hugging; it was my brother.  At some point I decided that I needed to take a shower and walked down the hall to the bathroom and saw upon entering that the bathroom was very aesthetically pleasing with gray limestone tiles and soft lighting.  As I was preparing for my shower I noticed that there were two tub/shower combinations adjacent to each other, which I thought was a little weird because, presumably if people are showering in the same bathroom and at the same time they would want to use the same shower.  Later I noticed that the water was already running in one of the showers but realized that I was mistaken earlier when I had thought it was a tub/shower combination. So I decided that there might be some point to having this shower and the other tub/shower combo.  Still, it made me wonder why the other tub/shower combo wasn't just a plain bathtub.  Suddenly I heard my brother outside the door and knew he was trying to break into the bathroom to kill me because of the long-running argument Calvin and I had.  It was really as if my brother and Calvin were the same person.  He easily pushed the door open, and I realized he had left the water running because he had planned to stab me and then burn my body, but if he left the water running then the whole house wouldn't burn down if he burned my body in the bathroom.  I ran out of the bathroom naked, screaming and crying and terrified that he was actually going to stab me.  I went to my mother and explained to her what had happened.  She was sympathetic, but I still felt afraid.  She pointed out that I was going to be late for school if I didn't hurry to catch the bus.  It was late at night, so she started walking with me to the bus stop because she was worried about my safety walking alone so late.  I wondered why she was so worried about my safety from others when her own son had just attempted to murder me but she did relatively little to protect me.  After we had walked a short distance I told her that she could go home and that I would be fine walking alone.  She was reluctant to leave, but I insisted.  Shortly after she left I could see the bus stop ahead, but I had to pass by a blond man and his young son in their blue Porsche parked in the grass beside a telephone pole.  The way he had parked left only a very narrow path to walk through.  Just after I passed the car the blond man jumped out and began chasing and threatening me.  The son, who looked to be no more than 5 years old got out of the car and watched.  I imagined that if the man succeeded in killing me that the prosecutor would charge the son with accessory to murder for failing to rescue me.  But then I realized that the boy was too young to be charged with any crime and that you can't be convicted of any crime if you see a person who is about to be killed and you do nothing.  "When the Parents Are Away"    07/19/03 My mother was standing in one of the guest bedrooms in their house with me when my father walked in.  He told us that they were about to leave to go on a date.  My mother was chatting about something, but I was distracted because she was holding a glass with ice and some other liquid almost horizontal.  I warned her that she was going to spill whatever it was if she didn't start paying attention, but upon hearing that she purposely poured the remnants of the drink into a line on the carpet.  I informed her that I wasn't cleaning it up.  She laughed and my father told her in an annoyed tone that they were leaving in five minutes.  My mother got out the vacuum cleaner, but I told her that she should attempt to wipe up the excess liquid before vacuuming.  She didn't listen, so I went into the kitchen to avoid the blaring motor of the vacuum.  My father came in and asked where my mother was, although he really didn't need to ask because the commotion created by the vacuum made it quite clear that she was still in the guest bedroom.  As I remained in the kitchen I heard the vacuum being shut off and my parents walking down the hall.  My mother taunted me to go look at the results of her cleanup as they walked out the door, so I did.  The carpet looked as if the incident had never happened, which honestly surprised me.  I walked back to the kitchen, which connected to a restaurant that my parents owned next door.  All of the lights were turned off and there was a closed sign on the door on account of their date, but I looked at a clock and saw that it was only 8:00 p.m. and decided the restaurant should stay open for a few more hours whether my parents were there or not.  I turned on the lights and removed the closed sign and almost immediately a group of about six or seven people walked in.  The first person in the group was a tall and thin woman with long black hair.  She was very pale and had the reddest lips I had ever seen.  It became evident that she was the leader of the group because no one spoke to me except for her.  She was asking me questions that seemed vaguely related to the food served at the restaurant, but every time she opened her mouth I noticed she had sparkling white teeth that happened to be very pointy.  I realized that she was a vampire and that her lips were so red from the blood she drank.  I also realized that not everyone in her group was a vampire, although some were.  I told her in veiled language that I did not want to become a vampire tonight, and with that they left the restaurant.  I was too shaken up by that group to continue to keep the restaurant open.  I locked the door and then went through a door in the back that connected to a hotel beside the restaurant.  When I walked into the hotel I saw Ursula and her family.  She immediately invited me to come to one of the bedrooms to play chess with her.  I agreed, although I am not very good at that game.  In the bedroom she took out a silver travel chess set.  I realized I really didn't want to play. "Crazy Theme Park Vacation"    07/18/03 I went on vacation to a theme park with Lani and a few people I knew from high school.  The theme park was located at the beach and featured a water park and a theater in which musicals were performed.  We decided to go to the water park first, but later when we were organizing to go to a musical, Lani and the rest of the group disappeared.  I assumed that they all had purchased tickets to see the next musical and had already gone to their seats.  I went to purchase a ticket, but the attendant informed me that all of the tickets were numbered, so I'd have to know the seat numbers of my friends in order to sit beside them.  I asked the elderly attendant if I could enter the theater to find them and get their seat numbers.  He gave me permission to enter.  I was shocked when I walked through the doors because the musical had already begun and many of the musical's stars were out in the audience singing.  I tried to look for my friends, but it was very dark and the theater was very full, so I couldn't find them.  I was also trying to avoid being noticed by the singers roaming throughout the audience.  For a moment I settled at a round table in the back of the theater near a repulsively plump and pale girl who was talking very loudly.  She asked me my name, so I lied to her, the same way I lie to everyone in public, that my name is Anita.  She responded with a big, "Hi Anita!"  Then she proceeded to ask me questions which all began with, "So, Anita...."  She was sitting beside a small blond girl who was apparently her friend.  The blond girl smiled at me and quietly asked me if I remembered her name.  I leaned toward her and whispered in her ear that I knew her name was Melody.  As I leaned back I noticed that she was wearing a nametag which said her name was Mexlide.  She asked me to say her name again, but when I tried to whisper it in her ear again I seemed unable to pronounce "Melody" due to the confusing name written on her nametag.  She smiled and giggled at my failed attempt.  I could have sworn the girls were flirting with me.  I began to feel weird sitting with them, so I told them I was going to go to the theater gift store.  The larger girl suggested that they'd see me later, but I just kept walking away without a response.  When I entered the gift store I felt immediately better because I spotted Jillian, who was at least a familiar face.  I walked over to the makeup section of the store where she was browsing and said hi.  She seemed way too perky, but she was empathetic when I told her about what happened with Lani.  Jillian continued chatting as I looked at the makeup items the store sold.  You could actually buy pieces of rose colored plastic embedded with silver glitter which looked like the displays found in most stores which demonstrate what various shades of makeup look like.  I wondered if such an item was a toy.  Then I looked at Jillian and saw she was about to purchase a similar piece of plastic which looked like lipstick and wondered if everyone at this theme park was crazy.   "Browsing in Blockbuster Express"    07/17/03 I was staying in a hotel in a mountainous region that may have been in Japan.  I soon encountered Louis and one of his friends, who looked very much like Sauna Boy on the street outside of the hotel where I was staying.  I hadn't wanted to reveal to Louis where I was staying, but he asked, and I didn't want to lie to his gorgeous friend because I hoped that his friend would come visit me.  It was late at night, so I told them that I had to get going because I was very tired and just wanted to get some sleep.  After they had entered their hotel, which was nearby, I stealthily jogged past their hotel and over to the Blockbuster Video store.  I was extremely happy to discover that the store clerk spoke English, but then I noticed that the store was extremely small and didn't rent more than a handful of videos.  This store did have many magazines, candy items, ice cream bars, and popcorn for sale.  I asked the clerk about this and told me that this store was a Blockbuster Express store and that if I wanted more videos to select from I needed to go to a regular Blockbuster store.  An American patron at the checkout gave me directions to a regular Blockbuster a few streets away, but I decided that it was too late to walk there and that I desperately needed to return to my hotel, pack, and find a new hotel to stay at in order to avoid being found by Louis.  The thought of him knowing where I was really scared me. "A Call from Tilda's Mother"    07/16/03 I was at my grandmother's house when I got a phone call from Tilda's mother.  The woman very quietly introduced herself and then began sobbing as she told me that Tilda had died.  I didn't know how to react because I felt almost indifferent about the death.  I wanted to ask how Tilda died, but the woman was so distraught that I felt I needed to say something sympathetic.  I told the woman that I was sorry for her loss, but I knew that the tone of my voice didn't sound sincere.  I asked Tilda's mother if there was anything I could do to help.  She asked if I could call all of my friends to let them know that Tilda had died so that she wouldn't have to personally call everyone.  She said she didn't think she would be able to make it through all of the phone calls without breaking down emotionally.  I agreed to call my friends and we hung up.  At that point I realized there was no one to call because Jillian had already been called and there was no one else I could think of who had really been friends with Tilda. "Dental Office Dating"    07/14/03 I went to a dentist and sat in the waiting room without signing in at the required clipboard.  I wasn't planning to actually have any work done at this office, but I knew that I needed to go to this office before going to the office where I would actually have my teeth cleaned.  I sat two waiting room chairs away from Sauna Boy and began reading one of the provided magazines.  He didn't seem to recognize me but eventually looked up from the magazine he was reading and began to talk to me, introducing himself as Eric.  During the conversation he revealed that he lives in the same area of the same city where I live.  I told him that we should hang out when we have free time.  He smiled and watched me take a notebook from my purse, tear off a small piece of paper, and write my name and phone number down.  I definitely would have dated him if he were interested.  I was waiting for the right moment to give it to him when he told me that it was time for him to go.  I wondered why he was leaving without having any work done on his teeth.  He paused at the door and looked directly in my eyes.  It was as if he wanted me to give him my phone number but was too shy to ask.  I didn't give it to him.  I watched him walk to his car, hoping to be able to identify it later if I ever saw it again.  Part of me hoped he was just walking to his car to get something and then he would come back to the office.  After a few minutes he didn't come back, so I decided to leave.  By this point it was late at night, so I decided that it was too late to go to the second dentist's office.  As I waited to turn left at the stoplight outside the dentist's parking lot, a girl I knew from high school came up and started talking to me.  She was jumping around in the middle of the road like a cheerleader, which repulsed me.  I realized that the only reason that I was talking to her was because I was driving a convertible and she was standing right beside my door in the middle of the road.  If I had been driving my regular car I probably wouldn't have even bothered to roll down the window to talk to her. "Assault and Battery on a Friend"    07/13/03 I was sitting in a classroom where a teacher was returning graded exams to everyone.  I took the top exam, which was only one page, off of the pile that was being passed around.  Someone sitting beside me commented that I was lucky to find my exam so easily, but as she said that I realized that I actually was holding M's exam, not my own.  I looked at him from across the room and saw that he was holding a large stack of exams and studying each person's responses to the questions in detail.  Suddenly he started reading out people's grades from a grade distribution sheet on top of the stack.  He yelled out to the entire class that I failed the exam.  I grabbed my exam, which was thousands of pages thick, and ran across the room screaming at him.  He looked shocked as I slammed my exam into his head and screamed that I didn't fail, I got a B, but still  he shouldn't invade people's privacy by telling their grades to the entire class.  I know the impact must have hurt him because my exam was so thick that it looked more like a very long novel than an exam.  It felt so good to hit him; the feeling was the exhilaration of doing something that I would normally never do mixed with the sweetness of revenge.  I wanted to beat him severely, but instead I picked up my exam off the floor, quietly apologized, and ran back to my seat.  I realized that I had just committed assault and battery and was afraid that I was going to be in serious trouble, but the teacher, who had witnessed the events, just laughed and M smiled at me.  Suddenly I realized that for my entire life M had always joked that I failed, but he and everyone else knew that I normally got very good grades.  It was just a joke, but I couldn't take it this time.  This was the second fight that M and I had ever had with each other, and I realized that the reason I was so upset was because I had forgotten what a good person I normally think he is. "Birthday Celebration for Jillian"    07/09/03 Jillian and I and many other girls were staying in a hotel for Jillian's birthday.  We may have all been part of a sorority or school function because Ms. Huntington was there acting as a chaperone.  We all went downstairs to the dining room for Jillian's birthday dinner.  There were multiple tables set up around this giant room, and as I looked around I realized that I didn't know most of the girls there.  Nevertheless, I decided I'd rather sit with people that I didn't know than to sit with Ms. Huntington.  Suddenly I realized that the only seats left were at the same table with Ms. Huntington, so I ended up sitting across from her and beside Jillian.  This was not my idea of fun.  On the bright side there was a frozen alcoholic drink at each seat.  The drink at my seat was bright pink and appeared to be made with guava.  I kept looking at the drink and thinking it was the only appealing aspect of the evening.  Ms. Huntington immediately tried to make conversation with me, but I really wasn't interested.  When I turned back to my food I realized that my guava drink was missing and yelled about how one of the girls sitting at the table had taken it before I had even gotten to taste it myself.  Ms. Huntington informed me that we'd order another drink for me.  She didn't seem to understand that I was upset based on the principle that you don't take something which belongs to someone else without asking the owner. "Vacation to Argentina"    07/08/03 My brother and I went on vacation to a small town in Argentina.  We were staying with a single white man whom we met while we were walking around trying to find a museum.  I spoke to him in Spanish, but when I told him that I was American, he began speaking to me in English.  I think he was also American.  While we were walking around my brother said that he wanted to check his voicemail.  I asked my brother if he even had his cell phone with him, but he lifted up his arm and showed me his watch.  He showed me that his watch was also a cell phone.  He checked his voicemail, which made me realize that I wanted to make some calls on my phone.  I asked him if he knew what the rate was to make phone calls from foreign countries.  He didn't know, but I decided to make calls anyway.  First I called Calvin because I really wanted to tell him about my vacation.  We talked a little, but then he stopped talking.  I couldn't determine whether he had just gotten tired of me or if my cell phone had disconnected us.  I debated whether to call him back, but I decided that I would think about calling him later.  Next I called Paloma and asked her questions about how to properly speak Spanish.  She told me that the whole time I was there I had been speaking incorrectly.  I tried to explain to her what I'd said, but even she couldn't seem to understand me in Spanish.  I was really annoyed because I felt as if she wasn't even trying to understand me.  After I ended my phone conversation with Paloma I told my brother that we needed to go sight seeing every day.  Then my brother informed me that there was only one day until we would fly home.  I decided that I loved the town where we were and that I eventually wanted to move there.  I also decided that I was too tired to do any sightseeing today, so we went back to the house where we were staying.  The American guy ended up having his Argentinean grandfather living with him.  I spoke to the grandfather in Spanish, but I felt awkward.  "My Mother Died"    07/07/03 My brother and I were enrolled in the same class at school, but we sat on opposite sides of the classroom.  During our class together a woman walked in and asked to speak to my brother.  She started explaining a fatal medical condition that had killed my mother, however; the woman didn't seem to realize that I was related.  She spoke to my brother as if our mother's death only affected him.  The woman never actually said my mother died until someone else in the class asked.  I was annoyed by that person because it was obvious from the description of the fatal medical condition that my mother had died.  My brother began crying as soon as the woman said our mother died.  I couldn't cry at first.  I felt extremely sad, but first I thought about the time my mother and I went to counseling.  We had to make a list of ten things that warm our hearts.  Then my mother and I exchanged lists and we were supposed to do one thing each day.  All of the things that warmed my mother's heart were things like, "Don't talk to me for two hours."  The things that were on my list were more like projects that involved spending time together.  My mother never did anything on my list.  She would always say to me that she washed the dishes or vacuumed or did laundry, so that should warm my heart.  It didn't.  As I thought about all of this I became extremely angry and disappointed.  I began crying uncontrollably.  I was so upset that my mother died and that she and I never had a good relationship before she died.  It was late at night, so everyone left class.  I met Jillian outside on the steps to the school where I noticed that all of the streetlights on the street she had to walk on were burned out.  I offered to walk with her, but she declined my offer because she knew that I had a rough day.  I seriously thought she would be attacked if she walked down the dark street alone.  She seemed very stupid to me.  I felt so annoyed by the way everyone had acted that day. "Searching for Shirley and Diego"    07/03/03 I was staying at my grandmother's house with Calvin, but we were staying in separate rooms.  I had been sitting in his room and talking when I realized that there were a lot of people outside of the house looking for me.  I didn't want them to find me, so I ran to hide.  I went into my grandmother's bedroom and heard the people outside say they were looking for me but said that I could easily be mistaken for Shirley.  They told Stephen to check my grandmother's room and said that Shirley was blond but would be wearing a pink towel on her head.  I noticed that the blinds of my grandmother's room were open, so I had to hide quickly.  I put on a pink bathrobe, lay in my grandmother's bed, and tried to hide my hair with pillows.  As Stephen came to the window I realized that some of my hair was still visible and it was obvious that I was not blond, but Stephen just said, "Yup, she's pink," and kept moving.  I had passed as Shirley.  Feeling safer now that I had avoided detection by the people outside, I went to the interior rooms of the house.  I passed a room in which I saw a shirtless guy who looked like Sauna Boy.  I realized that he was Diego's roommate.  Eventually that guy came out of their room and told me that he was "with Diego" and that he was looking for him.  He asked me if I had seen Diego anywhere.  I gave him a strange look.  I began to think maybe by "with Diego" he meant that Diego was his boyfriend.  Suddenly I realized that this guy was not actually Sauna Boy; he was just a cute and muscular look-alike.  This guy realized I was wondering if he and Diego were dating and tried to explain in an embarrassed hurry.  I began to think Diego was actually dating this guy but that maybe this guy hadn't come out as gay yet, so he didn't want to admit it to me, a complete stranger.  I just smiled, letting him know that there was no need to explain.  He asked me to help him look for Diego.  I agreed to help, so we went into the living room to begin looking.  There was a giant volleyball net set up in my grandmother's living room and many people playing a rather rambunctious game.  They way these people were playing volleyball reminded me of the way stars in a musical often overact.  They would all strike such strange poses just before returning the ball over the net.  So for some unexplainable reason Sauna Boy Look-Alike and I decided to join in.  I was placed on a team with a girl I had classes with in college.  She asked me to hold her up on my legs so she could hit the ball.  I lay on the floor and put my legs in the air, knees bent at a ninety degree angle with my calves parallel to the floor.  I felt a little weird doing this and also felt that I was dressed inappropriately.  Every other person was wearing a swimsuit except me; I was wearing shorts and a T-Shirt.  The girl kneeled on my legs.  I began shaking as I held her up because she was so heavy.  Her leg stubble was giving me rugburn, which made me think she was extremely repulsive.  I totally forgot that I was supposed to be looking for Diego. "I Discovered that John Ritter is Secretly Gay"    07/01/03 Suzanne Somers and I were working on a craft project together at my grandmother's house.  She had brought home a wicker container which had blue and white fake flowers attached in rows to the outside.  I was removing some of the flowers, but there was a glue-like substance that was coming out from the layers below.  I asked Suzanne Somers where she got the container from.  She said that she got it from the magazine where she worked but that it had been designed by John Ritter.  I asked her if she had any others.  She told me that he had been promoting this project to all of the local fashion magazines, but he only left one container at each office.  I asked Suzanne to call other magazines to see if we could get more of the containers to look at.  As she was calling I realized that glue-like substance coming out of the container symbolized some hidden characteristic that John Ritter possessed which he felt he could not openly share with others.  Suddenly I realized that he was gay.  I began crying so hard that I could barely talk.  Suzanne hung up the phone and was trying to ask me what was wrong, but I was having a lot of trouble telling her because it was difficult to cry and breathe and talk at the same time.  I felt so bad for John because I knew what it felt like to feel unaccepted, unloved, and to feel as if you don't really belong with or can't relate to others.  From that moment on I decided that it would be my goal to make John feel ok about himself exactly the way he was.

 

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