Dreams April 2002

"Calvin's Gay"    04/29/02 I had invited Calvin to hang out with me, but he told me that he wouldn't be able to because he already had plans to spend time with his friend Rich.  That was fine with me.  I told Calvin that he and I could hang out some other time.  Then I was thinking about Calvin's plans with Rich.  I realized that they weren't just hanging out; they were actually going on a date together, which is why I wasn't invited.  I wondered how I could have ignored that Calvin was gay.  At that moment it seemed so obvious, yet I had never realized it before. "Hillary Clinton's Plan"    04/27/02 My family and I sat in our living room discussing the evening news.  My mother asked me if I had heard the latest news about Hillary Clinton.  I had not.  My mother explained that there was a story that there had been and international plot to assassinate Bill Clinton.  Apparently Hillary decided it was up to her to prevent it.  So Hillary faked her own suicide while she and Bill were staying in a hotel, which somehow prevented the assassination of Bill.  I wondered why there hadn't been more stories in the news about this.  I thought that other people who had been staying in the same hotel would have discovered what happened and would have rushed to tell the news media. "My Ideal Mother"    04/25/02 I was shopping in a downtown area when I saw a Chinese store.  I decided to go inside briefly to look around.  The clerk was very friendly.  She offered to explain anything in the store.  I was amazed by how beautiful the merchandise was.  The store itself was not so pretty.  It had a cement floor and cinderblock walls.  It had a high ceiling of unfinished metal beams.  I saw beautiful clocks, teapots, and pictures.  I looked at the pictures.  They were double-sided and framed.  The clerk was offering to help me pick one out when another customer walked up to the counter.  The clerk told that customer that she could not help her because she was busy helping me.  The clerk encouraged the customer to sign the sign-in sheet.  I realized that I had not signed the sign-in sheet.  I told the clerk that I would have to come back to the store later because I had somewhere else that I had to go.  I told her that I really wanted to buy one of the pictures, but I just didn't have enough time to make a decision then.  The clerk gave me her business card.  There were two female names on the card, so I looked at her nametag to determine her name.  Her name was Suzanne Twain, which surprised me since the woman was obviously Chinese.  She smiled at me and told me that she had kept her maiden name.  That surprised me too because Twain is not a Chinese name.  I asked her when she would be working in the future because I wanted to come back to the store when she was there.  She told me that she would be in the store on Saturday between 12:00 and 5:00 as long as none of the parties she went to ran late.  She smiled.  I thought it was very cool that she went to parties, despite the fact that she was older.  As I was leaving she told me that she and her husband would love to have me over for dinner two nights a week.  I realized this woman was my ideal mother. "Lost at High School"    04/22/02 I had three high school classes to attend before lunch, but I couldn't remember which classes I was enrolled in or where the classrooms were.  I wandered to an upper floor.  There were no lights on this floor; there was only light streaming in through office windows.  I saw a man sitting at a desk in one of the offices, so I tried to ask him for help finding my classes.  I stopped to check if I had a printout of my schedule.  The man saw me standing in the hall and accused me of intentionally skipping classes.  The man said I would be expelled and arrested.  I began to run away. "Field Trip to the Inner City"    04/19/02 It was late at night when several students and parents gathered to embark on a field trip to an inner city area.  Mr. York was organizing the event.  My mother was planning to go as a chaperone, but Mr. York asked her why she was driving.  He said he thought there were too many people going on the trip, but eventually he decided that my mother did need to drive.  I got into the SUV my mother was driving along with M and Shirley.  Everyone in our group stopped at the same restaurant.  Shirley had told me that she was adopted when she was very young and wanted to meet her biological mother.  She and I decided to walk to a place where we thought we could find her mother.  We had to walk to 10th Street.  We stopped at a place that looked like a daycare center.  It had a metal jungle gym contraption that blocked the entrance.  I climbed on it, but I was terrified because it was very high above the ground.  There were several teenage kids who were climbing into the entrance, although they were not supposed to.  They suggested that I do the same, but I informed them that I was afraid of heights.  I became paralyzed with fear.  Shirley was standing outside of the building.  Suddenly police officers came up to the building and removed the group of teenagers.  Apparently the daycare center was closed and no one was supposed to be there.  The police officers were very sympathetic to me and helped me get down from the jungle gym.  Shirley and I still had to try and find her mother.  It was taking us so long to walk to 10th street.  I was afraid that it would take us so long that our field trip group would leave without us. "Veins Out of Control"    04/18/02 I had just stepped out of the shower.  A friend in the bathroom with me said that I looked beautiful.  I smiled, but when I looked in the mirror I noticed that I was extremely pale and I had huge blue veins that were visible all across my body.  The blue veins were a sharp contrast to my paleness.  I wondered how I could make the veins less visible.  I became very scared that the veins would never go away, but my friend seemed to think that I was beautiful regardless of the veins. "Relaxing Too Much"    04/16/02 It was near the end of the class period in one of my college classes.  I couldn't wait to leave the classroom, but just as everyone was leaving Ms. Dale reminded us that she had assigned 973 pages of reading over the course of the semester, and it was due next week.  She joked that everyone probably had put it off until the last minute.  I began to panic because I had not even started to read.  A friend and I walked back to my dorm together.  Suddenly I realized that I had left my book in a locker at school.  My friend told me not to worry.  He had his book and suggested that we do the reading together.  He thought we should "relax together" first.  He asked me if I'd like to do that.  I told him that we would feel too relaxed and then never do the reading.  He looked severely disappointed and worried about me at the same time, but I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I was right. "Disoriented at an Elegant Party in the Mall"    04/15/02 Ashley, a girl who took modeling classes with me, and I were walking around a mall that was also a hotel.  There were lots of extremely wealthy people who were having parties at this hotel.  There was one room that was very dark, but it had giant aquariums that were backlit.  I stood in that room for a very long time.  It was such a beautiful room.  Ashley told me that we had to go start moving into our dorm.  So she and I tried to find our way out of the mall/hotel.  It was very difficult.  Finally I asked a waiter at one of the restaurants.  He gave us directions to get out of the mall/hotel, but Ashley and I didn't know how to get from the mall/hotel to our dorm, so we went back into the mall and asked some women who worked there.  I was very tired because I was carrying a very large CD holder and a few plastic shopping bags.  The women told us to walk north along a particular road.  I was confused because I didn't think that road actually went to the mall/hotel.  Ashley and I set out walking.  We passed several fraternity houses.  Everyone seemed to be moving in.  There was an old Cadillac convertible that drove past us.  That car amazed me because the paint kept changing colors.  Finally I could see our dorm in the distance. "Making Kosher Food in the Ocean"    04/15/02 I went to a friend's house.  Part of the house was supported above the water of a bay area by large cylindrical pillars.  Only my friend and his mother were home.  He suggested that he and I cook something together.  I asked him what he wanted to cook, but instead of answering he went and got a few items from the kitchen and then took me outside.  He had chocolate sauce and chocolate cakes that were shaped like kimonos.  He walked into the water with his clothes on.  I didn't want to follow him, but he called me out into the water, and I wanted to see what he was going to do out there.  I reluctantly walked out to where he was.  The water was actually warm, although I believe we were in either Maryland or Delaware, where the water would not actually have been so warm.  He began floating the cakes in the salty water of the bay.  I asked him why he was doing that.  He told me that the cakes would be kosher because they would absorb kosher salt from the bay.  Afterwards we spoke to his mother.  She seemed to disapprove of me. "Writing a Note for a Friend"    04/07/02 I was walking around my high school.  I was looking for a particular classroom, but I couldn't find it.  I saw M and his father walking together.  I could hear that they were arguing in Spanish about how low M's younger brother's grades were.  I stopped them and said hi.  M seemed shocked to see me.  I told him that I really wanted to keep in touch, so I was going to write down my email address and website address for him.  I got out a glossy piece of paper on which Ursula had written me a note.  There was a black and white picture on the paper, so she had written in the white border around the picture.  I struggled to find an area on the paper to write my information for M.  I finally found a space, but I couldn't remember the address of my website.  I kept writing what I thought it might have been, realized it was incorrect, crossed it out, and wrote something else.  I think M's father was annoyed by me.  I finally remembered the address and wrote it down.  I felt so happy to see M. "Traveling Around the World and Hearing Brad Pitt Lecture"    04/06/02 I was on a flight to China with my friends Zara and Midori.  I asked them what I should know before I went to visit.  They gave me some good advice, but they seemed to be curious why I was asking.  I looked out the window and saw that our plane was landing.  The city in which we were landing looked like nothing I had ever seen before.  It looked almost computer-generated.  I told my friends that I was so happy that we had arrived.  They told me that we weren't in China, it was just a stop in our flight.  Some people got off the plane.  My friends and I stayed on for a few minutes and left the plane later.  We went into a huge auditorium area.  We were waiting to hear a lecture by Brad Pitt.  It was sponsored by some group that wanted to legalize marijuana in the US.  I turned to my friends and told them that Brad Pitt smokes marijuana.  The woman who was going to introduce Brad was waiting for Zara to pay attention.  Zara had her back to the woman and was loudly flipping the pages of a magazine.  I motioned to Zara to turn around.  When Brad Pitt walked into the room he was wearing glasses and he looked very relaxed.  I remember thinking that he didn't seem anything like the image I had of him in my mind. "My Friend Carson"    04/06/02 I was in the audience of a TV show.  Many of the girls in the audience were running onto the stage and lining up to give the host, Carson Daly, a hug.  I was the last person to give him a hug.  I told him that he had done a good job during the taping of the show.  Surprisingly, he knew my name.  He said he was glad that I had come out to watch the show.  He said that he thought Calvin and Diego would have kept me locked away in a back room somewhere.  Carson and I made plans to see each other in the future.  I felt so happy.  He hugged me again before I left.  His body was so soft and so comfortable.  He seemed so gorgeous.  I wanted to call Calvin and Diego after I left, but I knew that they wouldn't understand how I felt. "Caught Stealing"    04/06/02 I was accidentally locked in a store overnight.  Since I was there, I decided to look around the store a little.  I picked up a heart-shaped diamond and gold necklace.  Then the police were able to unlock the building and let me out, but they claimed I was trying to steal the necklace because I was holding it when they opened the doors.  My dad's friend, who was a lawyer came into the store and along with police officers led me out.  Cameramen and reporters were everywhere.  I looked down and tried to cover my face with my arms, although the lawyer and the police were holding my arms.  As I walked looking down, the cameramen held there cameras low and tried to point the cameras to get a shot of my face.  I noticed one cameraman had his camera sitting on the sidewalk.  I pretended that I tried to step over his camera, but then I purposefully kicked it very hard.  Parts flew off the camera.  The guy was yelling at me.  I turned around and uncovered my face.  I looked him straight in his eyes and apologized profusely.  I claimed that I had been walking with my eyes closed.  He said it was ok and asked me to be more careful next time.  I wondered if he really thought there would be a next time.  My lawyer took me to a cafe.  My mother and brother were already there.  My lawyer was standing near the table in front of ours telling me that I was going to have to do case briefs.  He was also holding up pictures of trees and asking me to describe them.  People sitting at a table near us were getting annoyed.  They left angrily.  I asked my brother to move and sit where they had been sitting.  I was afraid that I was going to have to spend years of my life in jail. "Unusual Documentary"    04/02/02 My parents and I were shopping at a mall.  They seemed to be in a hurry to leave, so we walked out to the van which had taken us to the mall.  A woman who looked like Brooke Burke got out of our van.  She was accompanied by a man who she called Leo.  They were going into the mall to film a documentary about people who have monogamous, casual sexual relationships.  My father and I followed them into the mall.  My father asked Leo if he'd ever had that kind of relationship with Brooke.  Leo refused to comment.  I used this time in the mall as an excuse to continue shopping.  I went into a toy store to look for a board game to buy.  I was the only customer in the store.  The owner was trying to convince her granddaughter that it was time for bed.  I think they might have had an apartment above the store.  I walked out of the store, but I realized I was carrying a pink lunch box that I had taken from the store.  I took it back to the store and apologized for taking it.  I explained to the owner that I hadn't even realized I had been carrying it.  I met up with my father, Brooke and Leo again.  Apparently Leo was disappointed that they weren't able to find people to talk to in the mall who had that kind of casual sexual relationship.  I said that I could help them.  I started out by telling Leo that I had a male friend, but then my father interrupted me and asked if I had that kind of relationship with my friend.  I said no and continued explaining that my friend was a good person.  I even told Leo that one of my female friends had slept at that particular male friend's house and she had felt very safe doing so.  Leo seemed to be happy that I was telling him this story, but I don't know why.  My story didn't actually seem to fit into the category they were looking for. "Strange Happenings at School"    04/01/02 My brother and I were walking around school at night.  We were in Miami, but it was snowing.  I was not wearing my coat; I was carrying it.  This presented a problem because the wind was very strong and almost blew my coat out of my hands several times.  My brother had to help me hang onto the coat.  We walked through a courtyard area where there was a car with no windshield.  There were five guys sitting in the car.  Police officers had surrounded it.  I realized the people were being arrested for dealing narcotics.  One of the people in the car was Mark Hoppus of the band Blink 182.  The police officers asked if the guys dealt drugs for money.  The guys claimed they didn't.  My brother and I walked away.  We went to another courtyard area that was surrounded by classrooms.  We were going to go into the classroom, but there was a robot spraying water inside the classroom next to the one we were going to enter.  I told my brother that the whole building was being cleaned, so we'd have to come back later.  Then a large robot in the center of the courtyard began spraying water.  We ran away.  Again I struggled with my coat.  We crossed a street into an area that looked like New York City.  I told Alan that we should walk to Italy eventually, but I asked him if he had finished his homework first.  He said he hadn't, so I told him we couldn't go to Italy that night.

 

< Prev		Next >